I was pretty dumb as a teenager. I made some pretty bone headed decisions and spent way too much time caring what other people thought of me. Some of you went to school with me and may even know what I’m talking about.

I was the guy that had to be the center of attention. If there was a crowd, you could bet that I would be doing something to try and make them laugh. Such as the time I was on the Winter Sports (school dance) court. When they announced our names another friend and I did the worm down the red carpet instead of walk with our dates.

Or the time at DECA State when we decided to see who could embarrass themselves the most. So, first we decided to try it as a group and played Mission Impossible in the hotel lobby. There was a group of eight of us and we started humming the theme song. We ran through the lobby making shooting noises with our gun fingers. We threw pretend grenades and made explosion noises with our mouths. We died violently and dramatically until the hotel manager told us to “Cease and desist!”

That afternoon I saw a large staircase with a handrail in the middle. It was on the main walkway from different places of competition, so it held a lot of people. Right after one of the competitions released and there were hundreds of students walking that staircase, I nonchalantly walked by, pretended to trip and fell down the stairs. Only my friends and I knew that it was fake.

A quiet fell over the crowd as they watched a fellow DECA member roll down the mountain of stairs.  I flopped and flung like a rag doll and made as much noise as possible.

Once I hit the bottom I laid there for a moment, just enough time to make people wonder if the fall had killed me. And at just the right moment I hopped up, brushed myself off and walked away as if nothing had happened. My friends were rolling.

Like I said, I was pretty dumb.

I would bet that you did some dumb things as well. We all did. That’s just part of life as a teen. We were all self-involved and wanted people to notice us. Some of us wanted that worse than others.

But there is a narcissism out there today that I’ve never seen on such a large scale. I believe it comes down to two different media sensations that have proven to be a perfect storm: the rise of social media coupled with reality TV.

Today’s reality TV offers a glimpse into a world filled with people that appear to be completely self-absorbed and out of touch with reality. Watch any of these shows and you will soon see some fight or meltdown about some issue that someone did or said about something else or someone else or blah blah blah.

The way TV portrays these people is not pretty. In fact, Kim Kardashian has experienced a huge backlash because of the way her show presents her and her family.

I’ve seen a rise in teen drama for quite some time. Little things that used to be mole hills are now the Himalayas. And since we’ve allowed an entire generation of people to be raised on people airing dirty laundry for the world to see, privacy is out the window! And this is where social media comes in.

The ability to type a few sentences or post a picture and obtain instant gratification is something we’ve not dealt with before. This is a new phenomenon in youth culture and we are all trying to play catch up.

Spend some time on Facebook and you will eventually see someone post a rant about something someone else posted. You will then see the million responses on both posts about the other posts.

The next thing you will inevitably see is someone posting a picture of themselves. These pictures are usually taken by them, of their reflection in a large mirror or with the phone camera reversed.

I have seen more than my share of guys flexing in their pictures. Some even put on hats or sunglasses and pose shirtless. The girls post with the same pose over and over. Head tilted, hand on hip, and legs bent backwards at an almost uncomfortable angle. They are normally with friends all posing the same or wearing some new outfit.

I have also seen too many that are showing off cleavage or swimwear or posing in a provocative way.

There are status games like Smash or Pass that ask others to say whether they would sleep with them or not.

Please don’t misread what I’m saying. I know that not all teens on Facebook or that watch Real Housewives or Jersey Shore (which is just trash) turn out to be attention mongers. But it is a real problem with real consequences.

None of these shocks me because as teens we all wanted an audience. But what does shock me is how many parents are completely unaware of what their teenagers are putting out there for anyone to see!

So as parents how do we combat this growing sense of narcissism? Here are a few helpful tips to keep you on your guard.

First, reality TV:

• Know what your teen is watching.

This sounds pretty simple but I hear over and over, “I didn’t realize they even knew about that show.” Understand that your teens know about it and probably watch it (whatever it is). If the show promotes activities or values that you don’t agree with, you have two options:

1. Make a rule that they can’t watch said show.
2. Watch it with them and discuss what you see.

Both have merits and both can be productive. If you decide to forbid the show, then explain to them the why’s behind it. Your teen might just surprise you and agree with your thought process. If you decide to watch the show with them, be ready for some real teachable moments. Be honest and frank about what you see.

Give your teen a reality check on reality TV.

Watching Fear Factor or American Idol is one thing, but the way that shows like Real Housewives and Jersey Shore portray life is completely unreal. Your teen may or may not understand this. The participants in these shows live in a world filled with cameras and tabloids. They have access to anything they want for that show and live in front of cameras. That has to affect how someone behaves. And it shows.

• Make sure that your teen is aware of the fact that real adult life does not consist of these things.

Also please understand that shows like Teen Mom have inadvertently glamourized the girls on their show. Without it being intentional (I believe) this show has turned these young women struggling to finish school into checkout lane stars.

Now on to social media:

• Have your teen’s passwords.

I am an advocate that teens do not have any privacy rights in the home. That is a privilege to be earned. You are the parent and you have every right to know what’s happening in your teen’s virtual world. 

Make sure that you have any password to any online account that they have. Whether it’s Facebook, Myspace, Twitter or just email, make sure you know how to get in their account and know what’s happening.

• Create your own page.

I recommend that any parent with a student on Facebook or Twitter create their own account and follow or friend their child.

If this intimidates you then ask your teen’s help in setting one up. Make sure that you go to sites like commonsensemedia.org to keep up with the how to’s of the online world.

When you do friend or follow your child make sure that you aren’t communicating through social media things that should be said at home. The last thing you want to do is embarrass them online in front of their peers. This can cause a breakdown in your communication.

Use your page to monitor your teen’s page and the things that are happening in their world. Be aware that they can create multiple pages and use one for your eyes and another for private.

• Be aware.

Whether it’s TV or online social sites, just be aware. Take the time to find out what’s going on in youth culture and inform yourself. It might be frustrating at first but hang in there. You’ll soon find that you’re navigating this new terrain with ease. If you continue to struggle, seek out advice.

Whatever you decide to do make sure you are aware and proactive.

It was hard enough going through middle school and high school when I did. I can’t image the pressures that teens face these days. I can’t put myself in their shoes.

I don’t have to.

I see the effects everyday online.