For the last several weeks we have been in a series of articles dealing with divorce and the family. We will continue that series next week, but right now, I would like to break and share a story with you. It’s not an unfamiliar one and may even be similar to what you experienced. Where were you? It was a normal morning for us. My wife and I got up, got ready, kissed each other goodbye and headed off for work. I taught at a local private school and was looking forward to the time I had with my class. The students filed in, and we began with the day's lessons. I saw shuffling out in the …

I love my children. I love being around them. I love hearing about their day. I love playing and roughhousing with them. I love watching my daughter play with her friends in the neighborhood. I love seeing my son crash his trucks into anything solid. On those rare days where they aren’t home, our house is way too quiet, too empty. When they are gone, their absence is overwhelming and is felt physically. I cannot imagine my life without them every day. As a father, it would cut me to the core to not be able to be with my children daily. And looking through the lens of divorce, I can sympathize…

Divorce is ugly. When a family is torn apart, there are casualties. People can feel rejected, alienated and maybe vengeful. And if there are children involved it can get messy. We’ve all heard stories of lengthy and damaging court battles over ownership, monthly support and who gets whom when. Some of you might have had to experience these hardships. This doesn’t have to be the case. Parents can and do work together all the time for the benefit of everyone involved. But it takes focus and determination to do so. I worked with some parents who thrived together for years to raise their children…

Last week, I was reminded why talking about divorce and its impact can be delicate. I spoke with several people about divorce and sought council on how to handle that with your children. During these conversations, I was reminded repeatedly that children are not statistics but people. And that’s the sensitive part. How do you address the issue but not overlook the people involved? How do you inform on the probability of certain things happening without making it seem like all is lost? I believe it’s found in people’s stories. I believe you take a look at how real people handle situations and …

She slept around looking for the love and acceptance that she longed for. He self-medicated with certain drugs and alcohol to escape pain he couldn’t cope with. She desperately desired that her parents hadn’t made such a mess out of her life. He hated his parents for what they had done. These are two separate teens dealing with the fallout of their parent’s divorce. I can’t speak for every child out there but I do know that many kids run through the scenario in their minds. “What would I do?” “Who would I go with?” “What happens if one of them starts dating?” All examples of questions that …

The other day, I was at my daughter’s summer camp talking to the kids about how we should treat one another. We talked about not bullying and how to treat people with respect. Afterward, I was hanging out talking to kids, and one student caught my attention. It was a boy about my daughter’s age.  He strolled up to me with an unusual confidence. He walked up to me and nonchalantly said, “Are you her dad?” I replied yes. He then looked around to see if people were watching and when he was sure they weren’t continued with, “Has she ever said anything about me?” I did my best not to laugh in this…

Two years ago last Sunday we were blessed with a bundle of chaotic joy. We named him Brock because we liked the strength of the old English name but didn't realize that it would fit him so well. Just a week ago he gave me a black eye with a well-placed head-butt! But we are very thankful and blessed to have him with us. See we never thought we were going to have another biological child after our first one. We experienced secondary infertility. We tried for years to have another and with each failed pregnancy test we began to give up hope. We knew several people that had used different …

It was scorching hot outside, the kind of heat that causes me to sweat as soon as I walk outside. I was tired, sweaty and hungry.   Before I continue, I must confess something to you: I am not a perfect parent. I make mistakes all the time, and I will continue to make them. Sometimes I feel like a horrible dad.  I was pushing a stroller with a screaming 2-year-old, who was also sweaty and tired, and I had had enough. We were in some little T-shirt store on the strip at Lake of the Ozarks, and I wasn’t going to be that parent with a screaming child who didn’t do anything. Unfortunately, I  let…

She looked us in the eyes and said, “You are all our angels.” After choking back tears I struggled to say thank you. Her name is Dorothy Poe and everyone calls her Dot. The only reason I know this is because I am in Joplin with a group of 26 teenagers and 9 adults serving her and others in this ravaged city. We were standing in what was once her kitchen and looking at the tiny area where three adults and one large dog huddled in a bathroom closet as the tornado ripped down everything but that closet they were in. Those walls collapse when they eventually walked out unharmed. Most of the time…

What do my children see when they look at me? Do they see all that I do? Will my kids see all my shortcomings and faults? Will they look in my eyes and see all the sins that I hide in the darkness of my thoughts and heart? Do they see just what I want them to, or do they see me? Looking back over the last several weeks' articles was difficult. Each family I told you about was deemed a failure in my heart. They failed each other, and I failed them. But with each failure a lesson was learned, a seed planted in my being that would take hold and grow as my own children came and grew. It was …

John was the type of kid who would do whatever you told him he couldn’t do. I don’t mean if you told him to not run in the street he would. I mean, if you told him that he couldn’t succeed at something, he would give everything he had to prove you wrong. So when the doctors told him that he had an extremely rare form of leukemia, he gave almost everything he had to prove them wrong. John came into my little world after having survived cancer. His shrunken and scarred left arm was his trophy from such a long battle. He came from a loving family that was grateful to have him, but was struggling…

Sarah was the saddest girl I have ever met. Her story is full of tragedy and heartache, and it does not have a happy ending. But if we can look at the events the transpired in her life, and avoid those mistakes, maybe our children’s lives will be that much better and give all that tragedy meaning. I met Sarah at a function I led at the local high school for the teens after home football games. It was just something fun to do that kept the kids out of trouble in this rural community. It was almost fate that we met, because she won almost every prize that we gave away that night. As I got to …

It’s strange how something as small as a phone call can turn your world upside down. Chris got his phone call at 6:30 p.m. Chris had just dropped his little girl off with her mom and stepdad at St. John’s Hospital in Joplin, MO. They were celebrating the birth of their new baby boy, and Chris’s daughter was anxious to see her new little brother.  After a pleasant visit, Chris left his daughter and the newly expanded family on the eighth floor and made his way down to the lobby. A hospital worker was watching the local weather person talk about the incoming storm. Chris asked him if it was …

They sat in the basement and played games. Games! Tornado sirens ringing through the streets, and they played games. Joplin, MO is used to severe weather during the spring and summer months, so this was typical until the cable went out and the lights flickered. That’s when they knew that something was wrong. Tiffany is a college student at Ozark Christian College in Joplin. She had attended graduation the previous day to watch her older brother walk. That was  May 21. She was planning on staying a few extra days to finish up her work schedule before heading home to Wentzville. So on May 22 …

It was the toys. That’s what got me. Everywhere you looked you could see traces of where a family once played, where a kid would be playing Rock Band on his/her PS3, where neighbors would gather for barbecue and games played in cul-de-sacs. You could see dinner tables still standing where a supper was eaten just a few hours earlier. Remnants of families’ lives scattered here and there. As I drove to Joplin with my good friend and co-worker Kris Hagemeier, we talked of memories of that city, the city where he and I went to college. It was in Joplin that I met my closest friends, the men and …

If I see one more picture on Facebook or Twitter with a person’s tongue hanging out, I think I might scream. I’m not sure what it is about teen girls and having to smile with their tongue out, but all of them do it! But that’s not half as bad as the profile picture of the guy with his shirt off! How narcissistic can you get? Why not just walk into a crowded room and yell, “HEY EVERYONE! LOOK AT ME!” I work with many teen students and their families, so I get connected to almost all of them on social websites such as Facebook and Twitter. Students and adults alike now have an audience of …

It was a one of the moments you remember forever. It was a “Where were you moment?” for me. It was the first time I realized what makes the world go round. It was Madonna’s Material Girl video. You remember that one? I was just a kid when it came out, but I remember people saying “I am a material girl living in a material world” all over the place. The girls in school got just a little bit cooler with their hair scrunches and millions of silicon bracelets. As the mall hair grew, and the hair spray mounted, youth culture shifted. It’s happening again. Have you noticed it? Our kids are …

Throughout the past several weeks in The Next Generation, we have taken a look at a sad reality for many students today. Some have gone on to lead successful lives, and others have taken different paths. Some have even lost their lives to this epidemic of bullying. I have heard stories that broke my heart, not just for the victims, but also for those students who feel this is the only way to survive. These stories left me with more questions than answers.  Questions such as: What are we to do? Where does someone go who is dealing with bullying? How do you make sure you can protect your kids…

My son is creeping up to the terrible twos. I’m not sure why it’s called the terrible twos and not “the really active and run through everything using your head as a battering ram” early childhood! He’s full of life and energy.  Sometimes that can get him into trouble. If he sees a toy, he will grab it. It doesn’t matter if that toy was being played with by some other child. All he knows is that there is a toy that looks amazingly fun, and he must have it right now! He’ll even yell, “HAVE IT!  HAVE IT!” He’ll yell that at anything he sees that he might want--my car, a building, a fire truck, …

Ryan Halligan was a normal 13-year-old middle school student. His parents didn’t suspect that one day they would find him dead from suicide. They didn’t understand what was taking place behind his bedroom door. Inside his room was a virtual world of torment. Ryan was being bullied at school and the harassment continued online in his own home. After Ryan’s suicide, his dad turned on his son’s computer. Only when he began digging did he see the overwhelming negativity that was placed in this young boy’s life. He even said that reading his son’s instant messages (IMs) were almost as hard as …