Joy and Pain in Christmas

This holiday season is a predominant time for substantial and meaningful emotions. Children express joy at the magic of presents under a Christmas tree. They wonder at the delightful mystery of a jolly man with a white beard wearing a red suit somehow getting those presents under the tree. 

Parents enjoy a different type of satisfaction as they see faces light up as children rip open presents. Adults may also rejoice in the celebration of the season, perhaps for different reasons than children; the spirituality of it all. Such joy is seemingly more lasting and significant. 

However, this time of year can bring different emotions than those of happiness. Instead of joy some feel sadness, pain, and loss. Perhaps this is a new set of emotions for some individuals this year; perhaps it is not as new for others as the colder days and twinkling lights remind them of a vacuum in their lives. This vacuum, this hole or void, whatever it may be, it can be such a powerful force that the joy of the holiday season is lost to those experiencing such grief.

There can be such ambiguity during this time of year. Familiarity tells us that we are supposed to be happy as the sights and sounds of Christmas are all around us. But inside is a different story. 

I am not an expert on grief. I only know how I cope with it and a smattering of how others have coped in difficult situations. I know of some people who have experienced such conflicted emotions as the holiday season approaches. Thinking about this, I am reminded of a loss in my life that has left a hole.  

I remember the loss of a friend, of wanting to reach out to them like I used to just to share a small tidbit of the day. Then I remember that I cannot. They are not there anymore. And that thought of loss brought on such a powerful force inside of me that I thought I was going to burst out in tears right in the middle of rush hour traffic. And now that the holidays are here there is even more that I cannot share any longer. 

To put it simply, it hurts not to be able to share with my friend anymore.

I know there are people who are suffering the same feelings but on a greater scale. There are people who are struggling with not being able to share the joy of children with their own father as the kids perform in the annual Christmas pageant. They cannot taste their mother’s handmade, homemade recipes at the table this Christmas. They cannot hug their husband or wife as the kids open presents. They don’t have the familiar hand to hold anymore.

While there is such joy this year, there is also so much pain.

So, why am I writing about this? I want to encourage anyone reading this to remember those who may be hurting this Christmas season. Please help them in any way you can. The rewards will be enormous. You never know when someone may return the favor for you one day.