It is most likely that you do not know me. You do not know why this movie about a jovial, fun-loving, alcohol consuming kid that is seemingly joking his way through his last year of high school made me into a quivering, tear-stained mess. It is likely that at the end of this reading, you still may not know why. You may be reading this because you are interested in finding a review about a movie you probably never heard of until now. I want to be clear, this writing is about me.
They all are. All of my writings are about me. They are all selfish, just like me. I am a selfish man. However, what "This Spectacular Now" has accomplished is quite remarkable. I have been in pain for a long, long time. However, I have been running away from the pain. I have been trying to cover it up with various tricks, trying to hide it under shadows of a joke or a laugh, drinking it deep down, burning it into oblivion, running, running, running.
Thankfully, in a moment of sincere sobriety, one of the most amazing gifts of my life brought home a movie that made me realize that I have been trying the wrong way to love two other most amazing things of my life. I cried so hard into her arms that my nose bled all over her white shirt. And guess what she did? She loved me anyway.
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That is exactly what I want to do. I want to love them anyway. I want to look past the indiscretions, I want to climb over the hills of unfairness, soar over the peaks of injustice, and rest my feet upon the rock of the secure.
I hope that every person finds the ability to love them anyway, whoever they are, whoever they love, and whoever has been forced to walk through a doorway that takes them into a place that they never wanted to go in the first place. Love them anyway.
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So, I guess I was wrong. This isn’t about me at all. It is about her. It is about how, unbeknownst to me, she rescued me. Even though I fought against her efforts, those moments when she would search for me to requite her love, some return of her affection that I would deftly turn aside like a goalie. She stood strong and true, true to me and to our love, to our future together.
And in spite of me, she loved me anyway. Thank you just doesn’t do enough, does it?