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Health & Fitness

Pool Side Princess

Last night I took my kids to the neighborhood pool. We splashed and played and had a really good time.

But sitting on the side of the pool was a group of teenagers. They weren't being a bother. They were just there hanging out, cooling off from a hot Florida day. A group of about five guys were being loud and dumb (as we tend to do) and sitting, quietly watching were two girls that were "with" them. I say that in quotations because for the time we were there not once did any of the boys turn and say anything to these girls.

And those girls look miserable. They just sat. And they must have been sitting for a while because their suits were completely dry. 

If I'm honest, they looked defeated. Pool side princesses dolled up for princes that didn't care.

I have no idea what was going on or if the girls really were bored out of their minds or if the guys were being jerks (which we do well). But I can say that on the way home my daughter made a comment about it. And that comment turned into a discussion about self respect and self worth.

Over the years of working with teenagers and their families I have notice the pressure that our young daughters are under to have boyfriends and to get into relationships. 

It's starts early on in elementary school but really ramps up in middle school. Many young women then begin to define themselves as part of a couple and their identity becomes wrapped up in some young man's veiw of her. As long as that view and that relationship is good then the young woman feels good about herself. But the moment it falls apart the young woman goes into a tail spin. 

I have sat and watched as young girls talked about themselves in horrible ways, using words like idiot and stupid and slut and etc... At times it's been heartbreaking to see them do this to themselves. Then only to see them repeat the same mistakes with the next relationship.

I see the real problem is that we don't communicate to our daughters who they truely are. We dress them up like princesses, tell them how beautiful they are but don't give the same enthusiasm to their personalities. We shove false visions of romantic love down their throats that set them up for failure when that boy doesn't meet those crazy expectations. We buy them clothes that make them look 10 years older or worse. We put makeup on their faces far too young and give them idols that  come out on stage half naked singing songs about sexual relationships. We tell them that they are what they look like. Every page they turn of the latest magazine has unrealistic and photo shopped images of "true" beauty. And when a woman does make it to the top she is criticized for they way she's dressed or her hair or make up instead of what she says and does.

Psalm 139 talks about how we are fearfully and wonderfully made. That we are made with intrinsic value. That we have imprinted on our souls the image of the divine. To be fearfully and wonderfully made expresses the beauty found in each of us. It tells us that we are worth far more than we even understand. It should affect how we live, how we treat each other and how we raise our children.

Even if you don't believe as I do the principle still is there. Each of us are born with value. And it's in that value that our worth is found.

As we drove away from that pool I was glad that my daughter notice the behavior of those girls and commented about how dumb those boys were. My prayer for her is that she always remember who she really is; an image bearer of the Creator.



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