I blame my wife.
I know Mother’s day is around the corner, but I do. I blame her.
The Biebs has landed! Run for cover, get your provisions and prepare to hunker down! My daughter put a Justin Bieber poster up in her room.
I have fought the good fight but alas I have been vanquished. It was a long worthwhile struggle and my daughter was even embarrassed to show me the poster and tell me that she liked his music now. I told her she was shunned and not to expect dinner that night.
I blame my wife. And here’s why.
I grew up listening to classic rock from my dad’s record collection. I remember watching the first video on MTV (when it actually played music) and rocking out to Dark Side of the Moon on our stereo (Another Brick in the Wall is still an all-time favorite). I grew up being fed a steady diet of men and women that wrote their own music, played their own instruments and sang their own songs.
My wife on the other hand listened and actually saw…. <gulp>…New Kids on the Block. That even hurt to type.
You remember them.
If you were a girl you had your favorite New Kid. His face was plastered to the inside of your locker so everyone would know which your guy was. And if you were a guy you got so sick of seeing those morons’ faces everywhere that it caused immediate and explosive vomiting!
Nothing in all of creation was as annoying and invasive as the virus known as NKOTB. I remember some of the kids I went to school with, you’re might even be one of them, were so infected with the NKOTB virus that their appearance changed, clothing was different, even hairstyles started to look like Jordan Knight (may God have mercy on your souls). And nothing, and I mean NOTHING was worse than even remotely looking like one of them because all I heard in eighth grade was how I kinda had a resemblance to one of them. See I was white, with brown hair and I was a boy. And because of that I had several girls constantly (good naturedly) tease me about that.
No, I haven’t forgotten. Yes, I realize that it was a long time ago and no, I don’t care. It’s still a scar I carry with me to this day.
AND this is the world that my wife has introduced to my daughter! My wife doesn’t listen or even like Justin Bieber but she has infected my own child with the dreaded NKOTB virus. It long laid dormant in her DNA and was passed on to our female child where it silently waited. Stalking, creeping, hiding for the exact moment it knew that it could strike and cause the most damage!
The Biebs has landed.
To be fair there are plenty of good attributes that my wife has passed down to my daughter. Hardwired in our daughter’s DNA are traits I’ve seen lived out countless times in my wife’s life. Let me give you a few examples.
When one of our friends was going through a rough patch in her life who was the first one there to hold and cry with her? My wife. She walked with this friend every day for an entire year as our friend struggled to put the pieces of life back together. My wife made meals and spent many hours and long nights talking, crying, laughing with this friend.
Her heart is large and tender.
We have this one particular friend from college. I knew her from high school as well but when Laura met my wife Tori (we weren’t married yet) she found her soul mate. They are two peas in a pod. And when the two of them get together, regardless of the time apart, you better buckle your seat belt and hold on. They are loud with their love and laughter!
They bonded through college, through the conversations and talks, through an ugly breakup and the reappearance of a vile ex-boyfriend. We were in her wedding and they in ours. Our children are friends and we look forward to seeing them every year.
She is a fierce friend.
My profession often takes up too many hours and too many nights away from home. Sometimes it can be a real struggle to balance work and family (not uncommon among most families today). And I don’t always win that struggle.
But my wife is the most supportive person I’ve ever met. It’s her that I turn to in moments of hurt or anger or frustration. She is the sounding board for all of my thoughts and ideas. She reads through these articles and gives me a yay or nay as to the topic and the writing. I know that she truly loves me because she’s not afraid to give me her honest opinion and if something stinks she’ll tell me that it stinks.
During those moments when I’m off at a meeting or with a family or off on a trip she keeps me informed of everything going on at home and keeps life going as usual.
She is my life support.
I remember getting the news that we were pregnant with both children. The first time that news literally scared us to death. There was crying and panic attacks at the thought of having to care for a baby. The second time we heard that news there were tears as well but they were tears of joy.
And both times I saw a side of my wife that many don’t. She is gentle and kind and caring and protective. I saw her rock our babies to sleep at 2 and 3 in the morning. I saw her care and connect with them in ways I never could. I saw our youngest scream his lungs out at a week old because mommy had to go back to the hospital and nothing would suffice but mommy.
I laid her little pillow next to him and as soon as he smelled her he fell right to sleep.
I’ve seen mama bear rise up out of this dainty shell and protect her cubs. I’ve seen her kiss countless booboo’s. I’ve smelled a million dinners that fed our babies and I’ve heard just as many laughs from the tickle monster.
And now that our daughter is entering womanhood I’ve seen my wife begin to mentor our young woman through example and discussion. I’ve witnessed firsthand the effects of that mentoring as our young daughter makes some remarkably appropriated choices in regards to what she wears and who she befriends. She is growing up to be an amazing human being and I have no doubt our son will as well. Much of this can be laid at my wife’s feet.
She is the mother of my children.
After I got out of college, I wasted a good chunk of my life chasing meaningless affairs and ingesting different chemicals. I had lost who I was and where I was going. I lost many friends during that time of my life. I felt what it was like to be rejected by people you thought loved you. I had a handful of close friends but none went to bat for me more than my wife.
She stood behind me and pushed me to be better. She was God’s small still voice in my ear when life was too loud to hear anything else. She was my conscious when mine had checked out. She was the definition of love when I deserved none.
She puts up with my idiosyncrasies and my annoying habits. She makes fun of me when I say “You know what I mean?” all the time. She loves me through good times and bad. I have absolute trust and faith in her vows to me and have never had to waste one second of worry on whether she loves me or not.
I don’t exaggerate when I tell you that I am here today because my wife loved me here. I do not take for granted the fact that it was she that pulled me through all of that and because of her willingness to stick by me that God has gifted me with someone I could not even breath without.
She is my wife.
If that pesky NKOTB virus somehow got passed on to our daughter I guess I can overlook that. I mean we are talking about my wife here.
You know what I mean?