T-Rex Too

The saga of the missing Lake Saint Louis dinosaur has evolved.  Last year, as the Patch reported, an important family member went missing from a local home.  Rex, a five-foot, reptilian-green dinosaur statue, disappeared from the Geerlings’ courtyard garden.

“Of course we were concerned,” said the homeowners.  “Our neighborhood has young children and small dogs, and you don’t want to think about a ferocious carnivore roaming the area looking for a snack.”

An article about Rex’s disappearance went viral on the internet.  The Lake St. Louis Police Department investigated and a reward was offered.

“There were initial reports of a Loch Louise monster paddling about the small lake.  These reports turned out to be mistaken; the sightings were apparently only green algae-covered pool noodles,” said Mark Geerling.

The family even had an offer from a “Knight for Hire” to embark upon a quest to find the elusive and legendary beast.  At about the same time, they located a very similar dinosaur on Craigslist.  “At first, we thought it might be Rex,” said Ellen Geerling.  “But this dinosaur was clearly not our Rex.  In fact, this dinosaur may be female.”

The Geerlings decided to adopt the dinosaur anyway, and will keep this one properly restrained in accordance with Lake Saint Louis’s leash laws.  “T-Rex was a fierce and muscular creature,” said Geerling.  “The name literally means tyrant lizard king.  All other creatures paleo by comparison.”

The best leash for such a powerful pet is a very thick chain, and so the new female dinosaur is securely chained and padlocked to a brick wall.  Thus far, to the family’s relief, their pet’s chain has not developed any missing links.

“We named our new dinosaur Alice—Alice in Chains,” said Geerling.  “Even though she is a clever girl, we hope she won’t find a way to slip her leash and go on a walkabout as Rex did.”

The Geerlings’ two bonehead sons, Sam, 20, and Chris, 17, have just returned from a Cretaceous fossil-hunting expedition in Montana, with paleontologists and personnel from the St. Louis Science Center.  Two years ago, one of their group discovered the jaw of a teenage T-Rex, one of only a few such fossils found in the world.  The specimen, named “Woody,” is now on display at the St. Louis Science Center.  Recently, the group recovered a nearly six-foot Triceratops frill.